Pilit mong inagaw sa akin yong manibela kya naaksidente tayo noon. Naaalala ko pa. This is my secret file. - Martin
2 hours ago, I was supposed to be calling you to say, "Happy 7th anniversary babe. I missed my girl already kahit kasama lang kita kanina. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning okay?". Today was supposed to be the day that I will surprise you with the news na finally, they offered me a job. Isa sa mga firms. And since graduating ka na, our lives are nearly mapped out. Malapti nang matupad ang mga dreams natin. Alam ko na yung mga magulang mo, masaya para sa atin kahit na nasa heaven na sila parehas. Kahit naman na namatay yung mama mo after giving birth to you, napalaki ka namang ng maayos ng tatay mo. At nung panahon na may sakit ang tatay mo, kinausap niya ko ng di mo alam. Alam mo ba, ipinagkatiwala ka niya sa akin and at that moment, sinabio ko sa sarili ko at ipinangako ko sa sarili ko, that I will never let you go, unless you want me to.
Paskuhan was supposed to be was one of our happiest moments diyan sa university ninyo. Lalo na't last paskuhan mo na as a college student. Pero, it turned out to be the most hurting moment for me. Weeks before paskuhan, parang may kakaiba sa relation ship natin, yung pagka cold mo instant, yung all of a sudden, hindi ka na lang nag reply. Eventhough the previous night, magkasundo tayo. Tinatawagan at tinetext kita pero di ka nagrerspond, pinuntahan kita pero wala ka sa inyo. I did everything para magkabati tayo kahit alam ko wala naman tayong pinag ayawayan. And then 1 week before paskuhan, you texted me out of the blue. Sabi mo, magkita tayo sa paskuhan. Sabay manood ng fireworks at 3D mapping. I became excited. Kinalimutan ko lahat yung sakit na nararamdaman ko nung parang binabalewala mo na ko.
And then December 18 came. Sinundo kita sa condo niyo and we went to UST together. But before 3D mapping starts, sabi mo, nagtext yung girlfriends mo. Hinahanap ka at may ibibigay lang daw na gift sayo. Sabi ko, sige sasamahan na kita but you insisted na wag na para may babalikan kang spot. Sabi mo kasi maganda na yung pwesto natin so sayang naman kung aalis tayo parehas. So I agreed. Natapos na yung video mapping pero di ka pa bumabalik. Tinawagan kita pero nirereject mo yung mga callls ko. Eh ang hirap pa man din ng signal kasi may jammers yata. At doon nagsimula na kong mag alala. I started texting you na parang nagpapanic na ko dahil sobrang daming tao at baka kung ano na yung nangyari sayo. Nagfifireworks na, hindi pa rin kita makita. I expected before na this moment was supposed to be romantic pero walang nangyari. I just wish na you were there by my side habang hawak ko yung kamay mo at nanonood ng fireworks. Natapos na yung fireworks, umulan na ng malakas. Sobrang nag aalala na ko sayo. Inisip ko na lang na buti na lang pinadala ko sayo yung payong. At least kampante ako na di ka mababasa. Sumugod ako sa ulan. Just to find you at basang basa na ako and I don't care kung magkasakit na ako basta mahanap lang kita and make sure that you are safe. And there you are, I saw you. Standing in front of the chapel. Holding the hand of the guy na pinakilala mo sakin bilang blockmate mo noon. Masaya kayong magkasama. And you looked at him in a way that you've never looked at me. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Dinudurog yung puso ko as if para bang nawala sa kin ang lahat. Then I took all of my courage to get my phone and call you from a distance habang pinapanood ka.
Nagring yung cellphone mo at sinagot mo naman. Sabi mo, "Babe, where are you na? Kanina pa kita hinahanap eh.". Hindi ako nagsalita. And then you said "Puntahan mo na lang ako sa entrance ng main building. Ang daming tao kasi kanina eh so Idecided to stay here na lang to be safe. Bye". At pagkatapos non, I saw you saying goodbye to your man, kissing him on the lip and running to the main building as fast as you can. Gusto ko na sanang umiyak at sumigaw ng dahil sa galit pero pinili kong isantabi yung galit at luha ko. I cleared myself up and acted happily walking towards you as if nothing happened. And then nagyaya ka uminom somewhere sa Dapitan kasi nandoon pa yung iba mong girl friends. Sinamahan na lang kita to make sure you are safe kasi minsan na lang kayo lumabas as a squad. Pero napainom na rin ako dahil sa dinadamdam kong sakit. I couldn't get a single word out dahil sa galit na anraramdaman ko. We became too drunk. But still I insisted na ihatid ka pa rin kasi pinilit ko yung sarili ko na isipin na kaya ko pang magdrive. Hindi tayo nag usap the whole trip. Until inopen ko yung topic na I caught you. I caught you cheating.
Dineny mo, siguro dahil lasing ka. Pilit mong dinedeny at pilit mo nang inagaw sa akin yung manibela kaya naaksidente tayo. Bumangga tayo sa isa pangs sasakyan. And thank God, minor lang yung injuries mo kahit malal yung sa akin hindi na mahalaga yun basta okay ka. Pero, biglang gumuho yung mundo ko nang sinabi ng doktor na buti na lang yan lang daw yung natamo ko coz you were 2 weeks pregnant. Gumuho yung mundo ko kasi all this time sinabi mo sa akin na hindi ka pa handa and that you believed in marriage before sex and I swear to God na hindi ako ang ama ng batang yan because nothing ever happened to us. Walang nangyari satin at di kita ginagalaw kahit kelan kasi di ka panga handa. And now, you are 2 weeks pregnant. That only means you already gave your all to somebody else and that's not me. Parang tinapon mo na rin lahat ng pinagsamahan natin after all these years. With my injuries and all, I can't help my self to do anything but to cry in pain. Physically, but mostly, emotionally. Para bang you breaking my heart was more painful than dying. ayaw na sana kitang makita kahit kailan. But I realized, na kahit sinaktan mo ko ng sobra sobra. I still love you. I also made a promise to your dad. Nangako ako sa kanya na I'll never let you go unless you want me to. Kaya pinili kong mag stay. Pinili kong mag stay sayo.
Pagkalabas natin ng ospital, you pleaded and asked for forgiveness. Pinatawad kita kasi mahal kita eh. Pero lumipas ang mga araw. Hindi na katulad ng dati. Hanggang sa dumating yung point na pinakawalan mo na ko. kasi sabi mo, I dont deserve somebody like you. Sabi mo, I deserve better. Sabi ko naman, kaya kong kalimutan lahat kasi mahal kita eh. But you chose to be the one who stays away. Sa ngayon, I hope you are doing fine. Nagstart na yung Sem for the acad year and then gagraduate ka na. malapit ka na gumraduate and I'm happy because of that. Sana mapalaki mo ng maayos yung magiging anak mo. May the Lord guide you. Kung hin di ka pinanindigan nung nakabuntios sayo, I just want you to know, that I'm always right here ready to be a husband and a father. Oo, kahit ibang lalaki yung nakabuntis sayo, nandito lang ako nagaantay sayo. Handang maging tatay ng magiging anak mo, at maging asawa mo
Comments
Post a Comment